Tea for two
I feel guilty because I paid £200 to co-host a birthday party for my five-year-old with another mother, but got at least £300 of gifts in return. As a guest, I don’t like these parties because you take two gifts in return for only one party bag. But co-hosting is surely a rational thing because you pay half and get a full complement of presents?
South London Mum
Congratulations on your move to more efficient birthday parties. It seems to be a happy accident, since you have failed to realise the true scarce resource here. It is not doggy bags or disposable toys, but time. By hosting a joint party with a friend, you are saving time for many parents who would have had to attend two such parties in quick succession. The children may feel hard done by, but then again they may not. Even five-year-olds do not want a party every day.
As for making a profit on these parties, an economist understands that gifts need not be exchanged instantly and with exact accounting for value. You hosted a profitable party but feel exploited when others reciprocate – perhaps you should see these events as two sides of the same coin. It will not take long before these profits and losses even out. Surely the credit crunch is not so severe that you cannot wait a month or two for a return on your gift giving?
As for the party bags, they are truly immoral: to quell your feelings of guilt, you dose up other people’s children with sugar and additives. Is this a generous act, or a craven one? I commend your move to halve the supply of party bags; my only complaint is that you have not eliminated them altogether.
Also published at ft.com.